Meal Plan Fail

We ate out this past week almost every single day. Why? Because I am currently fighting a double ear infection , and I am fucking miserable. Who gets a double fucking ear infection at 40? Apparently me. Lame.

I actually had ideas for meals this week. I bought groceries. I had plans. There was going to be cooking and everything.

But apparently the universe looked at my meal plan and was like, nahhhh, we’ve got other plans for you.

So instead of telling you what we planned to eat this week, here’s what actually happened.

The kids wanted pasta, so I made some fresh macaroni and tossed it with leftover gravy. They were happy as could be. D.J. and I, however, took one look at the pasta and collectively decided our heartburn couldn't handle that shit.

So... street tacos it was.

We grabbed tacos from Tacos Selene. They're only $2.50 each, and on Tuesdays they're only $2. I love this little place. Also, their green salsa? So. Fucking. Good.

Honestly, abandoning the meal plan was off to a pretty strong start.

[tacos]

I stayed home from work Monday because of my fucking ears. I felt like absolute shit and basically slept all day, which meant there was approximately a zero percent chance I was cooking dinner. So we ordered chicken wings.

I got two wings . Two.

Joey ate the rest. Which is how I found myself starving at midnight and once again being saved by the true hero of this household:

Uncrustables .

Never underestimate the emergency Uncrustable.

Ohhh... and that Bronco's game. Don't even get me started. It wasn't great, and then only having two chicken wings to eat, I made D.J. take me to get some ice cream during the 4th.

Yep. We ate out again. I was still feeling like a bag of assholes, so we tried a new Chinese place. And you know what? It was actually pretty damn good.

Was it East Coast Chinese food? No. Let's not get carried away. But for Colorado? I was very impressed. And, more importantly, I got to eat my first egg roll in something like TEN YEARS. It was fucking glorious.

Was an egg roll part of this week's carefully planned menu? Absolutely not. Do I regret it? Also absolutely not.

I stayed home again. Bleh.

At this point, the groceries in the refrigerator were probably starting to realize they had been abandoned. Instead of cooking, I decided to try a new little restaurant called Fast As Pho. It's a drive-thru pho restaurant , which already feels like something specifically designed for a sick person who does not want to get out of the car. And holy shit. It was incredible.

It was only about $13 a bowl, and there was enough food to satiate the teenager , which should honestly be its own rating system. They brought everything right out to my car in a cardboard box, and it was packaged so nicely.

Warm pho. No cooking. No dishes. Didn't have to leave my car.

WE WILL BE RETURNING.

[pho gallery]

Because apparently we hadn't eaten out enough this week. We went to a local place near the high school while we waited for the teenagers to finish up some Homecoming stuff. This was our second time there, and it was just as delicious as the first.

My only complaint? The potato skins needed green onions. Give me the green onions!

That's a legitimate answer. Tonight is the Homecoming game, and Anthony is shooting off the T-shirt cannon he built , so dinner is somewhere around priority number 47.

We'll probably eat on the way to the game. Or at the game. Or after the game. Maybe someone will hand me a hot dog. Who knows?

At this point, we're just embracing the chaos.

[tshirt cannon]

I refuse to think that far ahead.

The funniest part of all of this is that I BOUGHT SO MANY GROCERIES THIS WEEK.

There is actual food in this house. I had every intention of cooking it.

But this double ear infection is kicking my ass, and by the end of the day I am so tired that the absolute last thing I want to do is stand in the kitchen and make dinner.

And yes, I could let the kids cook. I've taught them. They're perfectly capable. But here's the problem: THEY MAKE SO MUCH FUCKING MESS.

Could they make dinner? Yes. Could this Mama handle an ear infection and whatever culinary crime scene they'd leave behind? Absolutely fucking not.

So this week's meal plan became street tacos, wings, Chinese food, pho, eating out, and a giant question mark.

The groceries will still be there next week. Probably. And if not? Well... That sounds like a tomorrow problem.